Friendships are supposed to be fun and fulfilling. Friendships are not supposed to cause pain or discomfort. If you have a friend whose company is simply emotionally draining for you, you’re likely suffering from a toxic friendship. Just as with any poison you encounter, you need to eliminate that toxicity from your life. Doing so means severing a friendship, and that is never an easy thing to do. But if you have a toxic friend, it’s absolutely necessary for your health and emotional well-being. Here are some tips to help you identify and end a toxic friendship.
Identify
First you need to identify whether or not your friendship is truly toxic. All friendships go through ups and downs, but your relationship shouldn’t be overwhelmed with downs. If your friendship is characterized by any of these issues, you most likely have a toxic friend.
Criticizing: Toxic friends can be unnecessarily cruel. They claim that they’re being honest, but in actuality they’re criticizing you and continually hurting your feelings or putting you down.
One-sided: Toxic friends worry only about themselves. Your relationship is one-sided because you give and give to your friend, but never receive anything from them in return.
Untrustworthiness: Toxic friends can’t be trusted with your secrets or your emotions. They’re also unreliable and continually break their promises.
Competition: Toxic friends will always try to one-up you. Rather than be happy for you, they feel challenged to outdo your accomplishments and steal your thunder.
Unhappiness: If you generally feel unhappy or unsecure around your friend, they are likely toxic, as friendships should be pleasurable and enjoyable.
End
Once you’ve identified a toxic friendship, it’s necessary for you to end it. If you remain in a toxic friendship, you’ll only continue to be unhappy. You’ll also be denying yourself the supportive and healthy friendships you deserve. It can be difficult to end a toxic friendship, but no matter what happens, remain true to yourself and don’t allow a toxic friend to manipulate you any further.
Recognize Responsibility
A necessary step in ending a toxic friendship is to recognize that you had a part in it. While you cannot control your friend’s behavior, you can stand up for yourself, and you previously didn’t. Don’t beat yourself up about this. Just realize that now you can also make a change.
Distance Yourself
Try to distance yourself from a toxic friend by not initiating any communication. If she invites you to do something, decline. If you used to go to her for advice or to talk, stop.
Call Her Out
The next time your friend does something toxic, don’t let her slide. Call out the behavior, and let her know you think it’s an unfair pattern that makes you very unhappy. Tell her you don’t want your friends acting that way toward you.
Distract Yourself
Don’t feel bad or guilty about beginning to sever your ties with your toxic friend. Try to busy yourself by hanging out more often with good friends. Get more involved with your hobbies or other interests, and try to enjoy yourself more.
End It
Once you’ve established some distance between your friend and you, try to officially end the friendship by lettering your friend know you don’t want to hang out with her anymore. She will be hurt, but don’t back down. Eventually she’ll get over it, and you’ll be happier as a result.
Lisa Hann finds great pleasure in delivering superior content for many blogs across the web. As a professional writer she depends on the features provided by Grammarly grammar checker and often refers to the Grammar Rules Handbook.
