Give Me Closure

In 2005, Mike lost his wife of 20 years to a car accident. He decided to confront his grief head-on, or as Mike described, to “embrace the grieving process.” I think Mike did the bravest thing one can do in a loss like this; he lived through it. He didn’t run away from it or hid from it. Sometimes medication can help with the extreme psychic pain of mourning such a loss, and while Mike chose not to take the medication because he didn’t like how it numbed him, I think in some cases medication can provide useful temporary “support”. Mike says grieving is part of living, and I believe him.

Gazzali examined the question of marriage in a thoughtful article, and said that the marriage as a blessing or a burden rests primarily on the quality of communication and relationship between two people. Gazzali observed that prior to marriage, couples communicate often, and after marriage this communication dwindles to stops because the communication becomes transferred to a third party. Gazzali listed this third source to be a friend, colleague, or relative – I propose that for today’s society – this third source can also be WORK. More people spend time at work to escape the need to face the inevitable – that something has broken in the communication. Whether a marriage is a blessing or a burden rests on the quality and level of communication between the married couple.

Mal wrote a Top 5 List of break-up cures in an AskMen.com type of format. The style is light-hearted to give a humorous angle to a heavy subject. These are: 5- Push yourself even harder then usual to work as you would any normal day. 4- Get out! 3- Cry on your mom’s shoulder. 2- Surround yourself with good friends. 1- Watch TV / Movies. Mal included some “Double big-super-duper warning”: A) DO NOT spend 3 weeks crying and watching tv. B) DO NOT rent movies that may contains any form of relationship-oriented stories (rubbing salt on wounds). Those warnings are useful for some of us who do take things literally. Thanks, Mal.

Alex said that when someone really hurts you, closure may be the last thing you would want to give that person. But, Alex’s article was really focused on detecting lies that someone may be telling you. I’d have liked to see him expand on the first two questions that he asked, 1. Is ignorance bliss or is truth the way to salvation? and 2. Can you handle the truth? I believe that sometimes people accept lies because they don’t want to believe in the truth, even when they know deep down that the other person is lying to them.

This concludes this edition of the Relationship Closure Carnival. My deepest gratitude to you who bare your souls and help me feel braver about baring mine.

Please consider sharing your stories and the development of your relationship experiences on a continual basis on this carnival. I personally visit and read all submissions sent to me, even though I may not be able to include all articles that don’t fit the theme.

Until next time, and in new beginnings -
Jane